I Sell My Car and Get a Shitload of Cash

So I sold my silver Mercedes Benz C180 Kompressor recently. I'm really cut up inside to have lost such a gorgeous car. Some good memories in there (had the leather seats cleaned twice at the buyer's request... seriously.. some people..).

So to cheer myself up, I had the car dealer pay me in cash. Here's what Rp137,000,000 looks like in denominations of Rp100,000 and Rp50,000.

With the help of a wad of notes from the latest drug bust, Inspector Teo

demonstrated to the media the painful process by which the syndicates'

drug runners concealed the merchandise on their body.

I thought he'd have to bring it in a suitcase like in the movies but this would probably hardly fill a large lunch box. I actually really wanted him to bring it in Rp1,000s but figured it might have been too much trouble to count all of it.

Itchy Backsides

So I just had dinner with L and A. Beside our table got one Indonesian family eating dinner. Wah on the table got one woman got a really itchy backside. The whole dinner she scratch and scratch and scratch. Some more she scratch is not like a bit a bit one. Hers is FULL ON scratching action. Like reach real deep so that you can reach your asshole that kinda scratching. Steady. I admire women like that. Got balls. Check it:

Sometimes Emily's wedgie fetish was too hard to resist

and she would relieve it at the most awkward moments.

Here's another picture. This time she was really getting into it:

Michelle cheated at poker by cunningly using the wormhole in
her anus to access extra cards that she hid in her hotel room. It
also had the added benefit of generating quantum deterministic
causality effects that distorted the surrounding space-time
continuum which blurred out the security cameras and
prevented them from catching her in the act.

Damn shiok. I see her scratch I also feel like scratching. But I paiseh.

Batman, Son of Superman

My friend send me this picture. Just because "Robin" is a legitimate ang moh name, doesn't mean that "Batman" is.

Apart from having picked a ridiculous name, young Sudrajat didn't realise that

the birth date on his fake ID still rendered him too young to consume alcohol.

Might as well call himself "Cockanathan" even better right?

Cheebye Juice Perfume

Wah lan eh the other day K sent me this link (er.. it's not workplace safe hor).

Steady right?! Cheebye flavoured perfume. What will they think of next?

This could be the start of a whole cottage industry. Imagine, if you are a woman in some third world country, everyday just take your cheebye juice, put into a mineral water bottle, then when the bottle is full, you sell it to a cheebye juice dealer, who gives you five bucks, and collects all the cheebye juice-filled mineral water bottles, and sells it to some big ang moh factory which then refines all the cheebye juice and put preservatives (or not) and then put into small chic-looking bottles, call it some classy name (or not) like "Vulva" and then sell it as some ridiculous price to some horny old men who for some strange reason, want to smell like cheebyes. Genius.

But then it makes you wonder who are all these women they get the cheebye juice from. And are those cheebyes clean or not. Or is it like ni na bei chao cheebye. Ya lor.. What if you pay $50 for one of those cheebye bottles but actually the cheebye juice is not from some young nymph but actually from some old wrinkled grandmother lao cheebye. Then how? You never know right?

Maybe I also can do. Everytime I PCC I just PCC into a mineral water bottle. I think three times should be able to fill up liao. Then I call it a sexy name like "Ambrosia" and sell it for like $1000 per bottle. Sure got a lot of people buy one. But my one will have certificate to show that it is really true blue authenticated Jimmy Lee Kalimantan lan jiao juice. Then those girls, when they do themselves and they're gonna cum already, just squeeze ("Ambrosia" will come in a convenient squeezy bottle) it on their face and think of me. For better effect, put the bottle into a bowl of warm water for ten minutes before starting.

Steady right?