Who killed Lee Chee Chew? (This is good. I promise you.)

Although this happened I think more than half a year back, I feel like I have to put this down in writing because I'm so damn proud of myself. It's a bit long but I just feel the need to recount this blow by blow so that I remember it for all time.

Everyone knows Lee Chee Chew right? The guy who does the "Chew On It" comic strip on The Sunday Times. This has got to be the WORSE comic strip I have ever seen in my fucking life man. I mean it's so fucking lame that I find myself looking forward to reading his crap every Sunday just to see how lame he can be. And he never lets me down too.

Anyway, Chee Chew (you don't mind if I call you that do you?) starts this blog sometime towards the end of last year also called "Chew On It!" (so fucking imaginative hor?) On his blog is, of course, more of his twaddle. Things like "oh.. some of you might have noticed that I did a new series of MRT posters, here are of the drafts that didn't quite make it past the censors" or something like that and then he attaches a picture of the actual poster (this one has a picture of an MRT attendant helping a kid to retrieve a soft toy that he's apparently dropped on the track. It says something like "don't climb onto the MRT tracks" or something like that.) Then he attaches another poster which is supposed to be the "too whacky for the average Singaporean" version which shows the MRT attendant spearing the soft toy, with the soft toy bleeding red blood. Soooo fucking funny.

He's got another one where he shows snapshots of a TV commercial (he probably waited painstagingly by the TV for the ad to snap them) where he points out an inconsistency in the frames. ("See, in one of the pictures, the construction worker's legs are dangling from the edge of the pipe, in the next scene, you can't see his legs! So strange hor?"). Gimme a fucking break.

I couldn't believe that there could be such a boh liao guy. Strangely enough, as with his weekly strips, I found myself checking his blog constantly, waiting for the next bout of crap that would emerge, just to see how lame this guy could be. What made it better was that he got "fan mail" (mostly from 11 year old kids) writing things like "wah Chee Chew, your strips are the funniest! Keep it up!" or "bwahahahaha! Who would notice that that TV commercial was not consistent?!" or something like that. Parents, if your kids write shit like that and find Lee Chee Chew funny, consider adoption cos your genes are no good.

Anyway, apparently I'm not the only one who thinks Chee Chew is a kok cos one day I see this entry where he says that people have been sending emails to tell him things like "your comics need to be funnier". He then proceeds to post a couple of pictures of "Peanuts" strips (the one with Charlie Brown and Snoopy" and basically starts going like "see? other people's comics are also not funny what". I see this I buay tahan. So I send in a comment to say that he should leave his other fellow comic artists alone, especially when they are already dead. I tell him that the fact is that his comics are just not funny and beating up other people's comic strips isn't going to help. Somewhere in there I think I politely tell him to get a life.

One hour after I post the comment, I find that it's gone. Suspecting that he might have deleted it, I post it again, adding that I'm re-posting the comment because either it got lost in the system or Chee Chew deleted it himself out of contrition.

Coupla days later, figuring that I'll just keep resending the comments, Chee Chew posts a new entry saying something like "ok Mr Jimbo (that's me!) and Mr So-and-so (I can't remember his name now-apparently someone else wanted in on the action), this is my blog ok and I can say whatever I want and criticise whoever I want. If you don't like my comics, fine. But you don't have to keep attacking me with your rude comments in my blog" (that is actually a pretty accurate reproduction of what he wrote - fucking kok right?) Anyway, smelling blood, I add in another comment saying that sure he's free to write whatever he wants but his readers are also free to make whatever comments they want. Everyone gets criticism so he should just fucking suck it up and stop being a crybaby.

The results were hilarious. Two days later he deletes all the entries and comments on his blog and closes down his blog. You can check it out at chewonitcomics.blogspot.com - Notice that he's removed the option for people to comment. 'Nuff said. I see that and I'm like whoa this guy is even kok-er than I thought. A few critical comments and he can't take it. Loser. Anyway, at least the remnants of his blog are left, which is fine by me because its gonna remain on the net as a monument to his kok-ness and my triumph. (Even his goodbye comments are kok - what "decimated their beloved pets"? Since when were we talking about pets?) Hahahahahah!!

I know I know. I'm damn boh liao. But I can't describe how shiok it was to take that fucker down!! Its kinda like I was able to touch someone's life from far away. Like remote control. It confirmed what I had always suspected - that Lee Chee Chew is a kokanathan.

Chee Chew, you are a loser and a kok. Hope you're reading this.

Update - 1 February 2007

I'm afraid Chee Chew's deleted even the kok goodbye message he left on his blog. In case you were wondering, it went something like "Ok folks, its been a good two and a half months but I'm afraid the mayhem (i.e., the two or three messages I left on his blog) has gotten too much for me to handle. I don't know why people hate me so much. (Here's the part I don't get) It's as if I decimated their beloved pets. Well, I'm going off to cry in my room now. Maybe later I'll take out my dress and put on some make-up and walk around the streets like the poofter I am. That always seems to cheer me up. Ok. Stay cool always guys. This is Lee Chee Chew signing off."

Well at least the header to his blog is still around so there is at least some monument of his kokness that will remain on the net. But he'll probably delete that too (maybe he hasn't realised that there is an option to delete your blog). When that happens, this will be the only memory of my triumph. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted.

I think he's also deleted his previous site with all his cartoons. Maybe he too paiseh already. But nevermind. There's such thing as Internet Archive which can let you see webpages that other people deleted for instance because of their paisehness. Just click here and you can see samples of Lee Chee Chew's works. But its just not the same as his blog. These are merely bland. Whereas his blog was really kok!

Anyway, this is fuckingbs signing off. Stay cool always guys.