SPG TV

So recently I was in Bali for work. It was bad. Everyday work until half die half live. But its ok. Every night after I go back to my hotel room, they got one TV channel that always make me perk up. It's called "SPG TV". I tell you ah. This channel is damn good. Every night got a different SPG to introduce you to those place where, if you are an ang moh, sure got a lot of SPG waiting for you one. You see, I never bluff you. This particular host is called "Nina":

Nina demonstrates the correct posture for ang moh hunting.

I show you close up of the screen to prove that it's really "SPG TV":

"v" suffered from severe stage fright...

So each episode of SPG TV will show the SPG of the day go to dunno wat spa la.. or dunno wat hotel in Maldives la.. And then ride boat.. or ride jetski or go suntanning. Usually got a lot of ang mohs around. Then the SPG always say until like the hotel or spa or whatever is like gan pua nice like that. And then her voice must make until like steam steam like that, like, "oh this massage is SOOoo goOOod.. this experience is HEAvenly"... I hear already I also steam.

So I tried to look around Bali to see whether got SPG for me or not. But dun have leh. Bali seems like only got a lot of fat ang moh environmentalists. You know.. those kind of tua pui sai* who so old already but still don't have boyfriend or husband or children. Then they have a lot of cats at home to keep them company. And before they sleep they will watch TV with all their cats while they lick whipped cream straight from the can. Those type of tua pui sai (henceforth abbreviated as "TPS") ang moh woman who got nothing in their lives so they become environmentalists cos all those environmentalist groups got a lot of tasty young hunky guys for them to oggle. I show you one example. This one was trying to cut queue in front of me when we were collecting our passes:

George was constantly embarassed by Bertha who
insisted on making her presence known.

Oh ya I forgot to say that these TPSs usually like to talk very loud cos they scared that people don't notice them. I think that's where they got the phrase "throw your weight around".

After you see one TPS like this, I think you need ten hours of SPG TV just to recuperate.

* literally "big fat shit" in Hokkien.