Taxi Drivers Are Stupid

Every morning I have to go to my office which is like a 15 minute walk away but because I'm a wimp and don't want to get mugged, I take a taxi. Anyway, taxi drivers are damn dumb boy. Because I want to avoid the traffic jam, I usually stop on the side of the road opposite my office and take the overhead bridge across. If the driver were to drop me right at my office, he'd have to make one big round and waste like half an hour in the jam. But the fucking drivers just simply cannot understand that I want to be dropped opposite my office. Typical morning conversation (in Indonesian):

Me: Morning, can you take me to near the Indian Embassy in Kuningan? But don't go inside the Embassy. I'll direct you from there. (I figure it's easier to give them information in small bits so that they can process it in their tiny brains - first I tell them go to the Indian Embassy which is near where I want to get off and then I direct them from there).

Driver: Err.. Right. (Gives me a I'm-not-sure-what-this-guy-is-saying-but-I'll-just-pretend-I-know-and-play-it-by-ear-because-I-don't-want-to-look-stupid kinda look. Obviously he's thinking, "go to the Indian Embassy but DON'T go in? So does this guy want to go to the Indian Embassy or does he want to go somewhere else? Nevermind. I'll just pretend that I'm supposed to go to the Indian Embassy.")

Me: (Striking up a friendly conversation to gently socialise the driver to the idea that I don't want him to stop at the Indian Embassy but continue on after that) Actually I'm going to this office building near the Indian Embassy, not actually to the Indian Embassy. The building's called XXX. But I want to avoid the jam so I want to get off on the side of the road opposite my office and cross the overhead bridge. You know how bad the jam is at this time.

Driver: Oo.. kay.. (blank look)... Briiiidge. Indian... Embassy...

Me: Yeah go near to the Indian Embassy first but don't go inside. (We approach the junction to the Indian Embassy.) You turn right at this junction to go to the Indian Embassy. Yeah. Right. Here. Yeah turn right now. But don't go inside the Embassy compound. Just go RIGHT past it and I'll direct you after that.

Driver: Indian... Embassy..

Me: Yeees.. Indian Embassy. But... don't... go.. inside... I actually want to stop on the side of the road opposite XXX building.

Driver: (Slowing the taxi along the entire stretch of houses outside of the entrance to the Indian Embassy). So.. Indian Embassy is along this stretch.

Me: Yes I know. You don't have to slow down because I'm... not... going... to... the... Indian... Embassy. Just go straight past the Indian Embassy and on to the main road where you turn left.

Driver: So, don't turn into the Indian Embassy. (Accelerates slightly past the Indian Embassy but obviously unsure of whether he was supposed to turn in because he looks forlornly back at the Embassy entrance.)

Me: Yes. Thaaaat's right. Go past the Embassy like what you're doing now..

Driver: But you know that was the Indian Embassy right?

Me: Ye-es I know. But you didn't have to turn in because I want you to turn left at this junction coming ahead now. (He can only turn left anyway because its the main road). After that, just drop me at the bridge (ok I'll admit that I don't know the Indonesian word for overhead bridge but there's only one fucking bridge there so which one other than the overhead bridge?)

Driver: Turn left...

Me: Yes. And you see the bridge in front of you? Just drop me at the foot of the bridge.

Driver: Uh.. bridge?

Me: Yeah the one that's coming right up. See? This one. Briiiiiiiidge... For peeeeooooople... Bridge for people to walk. You know bridge? Bridge that is across the main road. But bridge which have no car on it. Bridge which is for people. People who want to get from one side of the road to the other side. Overhead bridge (in English, hoping against all hope that he can understand). Just drop me beside the bridge.

Driver: Bridge...

Me: Yeah this one. That's about to pass by us now.

Driver: We just passed the Indian Embassy.

Me: Forget about the Indian Embassy. I want you to drop me here beside the bridge.... Stop... Stop here. Stop now. Stop. Stop stop stop stop stop. Yeeees... that's right. Stop here. Here. Riiiight HERE. (I pay the guy).

Driver: But your change...

Me: Just... Don't worry about it. (Slam the door).

And this happens almost on a daily basis.