I Prepare Myself To Become A Rich Prick

So the other day I went to Jakarta to look for an apartment for when I live there. Nice place if not for the traffic jams. Sometimes I think I can walk faster than the fucking jam man.

Anyway, I looked at about 5 apartments but it took like almost a whole day. Apartment hunting is tiring man. Especially if you have been drinking yourself silly the night before. Some apartments in Jakarta are amazing. You know that zombie movie? Land of the Dead? The story goes that the world has become populated by zombies because of some disaster and the only safe haven is this fortress city which is like damn fucking nice inside but right outside its gates is this like damn jiat lat wasteland filled with the walking dead ready to tear you into tiny tiny pieces to get at your brain?

Ah this apartment is like that la. Outside the compound the city is like shit, filled with near zombies (read about my close shave with one here). But inside the apartment compound, its like one of those Singapore condo ads lor. Like damn fucking nice, manicured green, swimming pool, fountain. There were actually a few people sitting in an al fucking fresco restaurant. And then just as I turned my head to the lobby I see a merc pull up and a girl wearing a spaghetti-strap top, sun glasses and little else steps out from the back. I'm like YES I WANNA LIVE HERE!

But then my friends tell me that the place is too fucking far from the office la. (Too fucking far means like its about two kilometres away but because of the jam it will take like an hour to get to work lor). Dejected, I half-heartedly look at the rest but nothing is as good as this one leh. One of them had furniture like from King Arthur's house like that. Like the mirror is like one lion head and inside the lion's mouth is the mirror. Please. That one give my grandmother la.

Anyway, after dinner, we go over to my friend's place for a look. Fucking hell. It's even better than just now that one. We went to the downstairs gym toilet for a pee. The toilet got one staff to open the door for you, another staff to give you a towel to wipe your hands. Then got one more staff there dunno do what. Wipe backside maybe.

Then we go upstairs to his apartment. Wah lan eh. His toilet is like the size of my bedroom now. And its so luxurious that it has two sinks. Dunno why also. Only got one toilet bowl but got two sinks. Who cares. THE TOILET HAS TWO FUCKING SINKS!!! And his hall is like so spacious you can play soccer lor.

Of course I've decided to take the place. Just need to find the right unit so that I don't see the monsoon drain/open sewer right beside the compound.