Ugly People

It sometimes gets tiresome being here in Jakarta. What with the stress of waiting out the jam in my chauffeur-driven Mercedes Benz and waiting for people to make up their minds on whether they want to come into the lift or not (trust me, it is extremely infuriating).

So I pass my time by taking covert pictures of ugly people. Since there's so many around and they're too stupid to realise that they're being photographed. There's just an indescribable thrill taking photos of an ugly person and going in as near as you dare without them realising it.

Anyway, here are some of my personal best:

Derek was proud of his long nails.

This guy was grooming himself in the same lift I was in on the way up to the office. He had obviously taken great care in achieving that punk rocker look, what with the thumb ring, the black beanie, the retro shirt and the leather band bracelet. He also had grown out all his finger nails till they were all at least one inch long. If I remember correctly, he was checking his face for pimples. In front of the approximately ten people in the lift. Classy.

Then there's the fat lady in the Italian restaurant. Here she is stuffing her face with garlic bread. If you look closely, you'll see that she forgot to shave today:

Eric realised, to his horror, that the beehive was no longer in vogue.

Finally there's Indonesian Aunty With Big Hair And Flabby Upper Arms. The picture does not do her hair size justice. It was at least twice as big in real life:

Mary discussed her gang bang scene in the food court.

Am I good or what?