Farterama

So I was in Melbourne recently right. And I stayed at my friend's place. So the other day we went for lunch at this Vietnamese place with her flatmate. Anyway, this was like the first time I've actually had a chance to talk to her flatmate since I arrived. Part of the lunch-time conversation went like this:

Friend (following on from previous topic in conversation): Anyway, women don't fart.

Me and Flatmate (simultaneously): Yeah they do.

Friend: No they don't!

Me: So what? You hold it in? That's disgusting. There's toxins and stuff in that shit. That's why it SMELLS.

Friend: You just don't do it!

Me: Nooo no no no no... That's what the girls always say. But you know they have a special technic so you never know. It's like the One Cheek Manouevre...

Flatmate and Friend: ...

Me: Ok the One Cheek Manouevre is when you sit down, and then you lean your weight to one side so that you're only sitting on one butt cheek and it kinda makes your asshole open up. And then you kinda let it out slow so the butt cheeks don't slap against each other and so they don't make any noise. Then suddenly it'll smell like fuck but then they just act like nothing happened or worse they play along and act like its so gross and where's this horrible smell coming from...

Flatmate: Yeah yeah yeah!!! (gives me a high five) Exactly! I never thought about discribing it like that but that's exactly what they do!

Friend (slightly redfaced): ... No....

Flatmate (excited): You know what I do? I kinda take a stroll around my cubicle, and then after I turn the corner, I kinda let it out, so I kinda leave a trail.. Then nobody knows who did it!

Me: Oh here comes our food.

Friend: Wow.. I'm famished.

Flatmate: Yeah me too.. That looks good.. Let's eat!

I love these guys.