Developing the Puxis of Our Nation

So the other day I attended this seminar on good practices in town planning. How appropriate to have it in Jakarta, the zenith of urban improvisation. Anyway, there was this flaky Indonesian urban planning academic who was asked to talk.

So the guy picks Shanghai as his example. As you would know, Shanghai is separated into two main financial districts, Pudong (浦东), meaning literally "East of the Huangpu River" and Puxi (浦西), or "West of the Huangpu River". As it happened, ten years ago, Pudong had been the undeveloped area of Shanghai, while Puxi was its main financial district. However, with the Shanghai administration's policy of systematic urban planning, Pudong was speedily developed into the new urban centre of Shanghai. Whereas, Puxi remained as it is, badly neglected and a shadow of its former eminence. So, according to Hapless Rambling Indonesian Academic, it was important to make sure that old city centres in Indonesia do not suffer the fate of Puxi and that the development of urban centres in Indonesia was carried out concurrently and proportionately.

Which is all very somber stuff. Except that this guy, having chosen a Chinese city as an example, forgot that the tonal values of Chinese words matter in interpreting their meaning. In fact, there is a whole system of romanised Chinese known as Hanyu Pinyin. So. Puxi, is actually pronounced as Pú Xī. In another words (my former Chinese teacher's to be exact), "Pú is lumber two sound. Xī is lumber one sound. Unnerstand or not you?"

For people who don't read Hanyu Pinyin, it's pronounced as "Poo Sea", not "Pucksy".

So anyway it was obviously too much for this guy's brain to process a whole new system of pronunciation for just one presentation and he opted for the monotone pronunciation of Puxi. And this was delivered in the over-dramatic, breathy voice that some Indonesians feel obligated to use when they are speaking to a crowd. Some excerpts:

"There are many Puxis all over Indonesia."

"Even as we compare Puxis, the Chinese Puxi has been better maintained than our Indonesian Puxis."

"If we don't do something about Jakata soon, it will become one Big Puxi."

"As we develop the Pudongs of our great nation, we must not neglect the development of our Puxiiiis!"

"Ten years ago, Puxi in Shanghai was beautiful. But recently when I went there again, Puxi was in such a state of neglect. The smell was terrible..."

I laughed so hard I almost died.

Higher Standards

So my friend thinks she can do better with guys cos Singapore men cannot make it. I say my lan jiao as big as ang moh one but she don't think so.

I also think I can do better leh. All the girls here only want my money but don't want my honey. And my honey already gonna overflow liao. And they're all so goondu like that. I told my friend. If I go out with a girl, I need to have intelligent conversation one. If not, I feel like I'm not intellectually engaged. Like why can't it be like:

Girlfriend: Hey honey, I wonder if Michelin's tyres for the Yamaha team in the next GP at Le Mans will hold up.. you know they're using a new rubber compound that will increase Valentino Rossi's grip on the track so he can brake later and turn faster and therefore outperform Casey Stoner's more powerful Ducati Desmosedici even though the Desmo has higher horsepower and better acceleration.

Me: Of course they will, baby.. its the new synthetic latex/polymer compound that Michelin recently developed after Rossi ran into problems with tyre pressure at the Turkish GP. If you recall, even though his tyres were reinforced with internal steel filament then, the extreme angles at which his tyres have to perform, coupled with the high temperatures caused by the stresses that the tyre goes through caused the rubber compound to fail, thus costing him the leading position. The polymer component in his tyres should allow them to withstand higher stresses this time round. However, I have to qualify that tyre compounds only account for half the braking ability of any one rider. The specific heat capacity of the brake pads play an important role too.

Girlfriend: Oh you're always right about these cool engineering thingies, dear... Anyway, I've been a bad girl today. Can we have some kinky sex?

Me: Oh alright.

Is that too much to ask?