I Hang With Ex-Drug Addicts Turned Cooks

So I've been eating almost every night at this restaurant called Resto Kowloon (what'd I just say? Bahasa Indonesia's just so efficient. Why say "Restaurant" when you can just say "Resto"?).
Anyway, the manager and cook are Indonesian Chinese and everytime I go there, the manager sits opposite me blabbering in bahasa Indonesia. Every. Single. Fucking. Night. And he's like so eager to like 'help' me out. Like the other day he mentioned that he's also a manager at this local gym and suggested that I should go visit it sometime (which I stupidly did, only to find out that its in this damn getto area), then when I mention that I'm thinking of renting a bike he says he knows a guy. And then later in a conversation I just mention that I'm thinking about going home and he offers to book the air ticket for me over the phone. And it doesn't stop there. The other night he looked into my pack of cigarette pack and when he sees that there're not that many left he asks me if I want to buy some more. And after I buy the cigarettes, he starts to help me peel off the plastic wrapping. I mean. Thanks man but can you just leave me the fuck alone? Maybe I'd like to KEEP THE FUCKING WRAPPING ON for the moment so that the cigarettes stay fresh? What the fuck is wrong with him?

In any case, I still go back to this Resto every night cos the food's pretty decent. And the cook is one bad ass motherfucker. He's pretty cool. Tells me about how he used to do all sorts of hard drugs in the past but he's quit now. And then he tells me shit like how much girls cost for one night around here and where to get them (and laughs when I say I want them for free - they go for Rp300,000 in case anyone's interested). And he really looks like last time everyday smoke heroin like that. Damn thin, skin white white. Like last time those army drug addict like that.

Anyway, the other night, in one of our Teochew/Indonesian/Bad English/Gesticulating conversations, I ask him where he learnt to cook and then he starts talking about Chinese cooking, brings out all his Chinese cook books to show me. Then I ask him how he gets all his special ingredients for his cooking. And of course, the conversation leads to how he gets the most difficult to find ingredient of all - P. O. R. K. Then he tells me that he's kinda got a stash lying around and (in a low voice) if I want some tau yiu teh ka (for Fiona's benefit, pork trotters in soy sauce), he can arrange it for me.

I try to play it cool but my "maybe" comes out a bit too quickly and a sly grin spreads across his face. He says come in tomorrow at about 7pm and he'll have the merchandise ready.

Next day I show up and my mate Ari and his wife are already having dinner at the restaurant. I nod at the ah beng cook and he goes into the kitchen immediately. The waiter brings me the menu but I just say "he's taking care of it". Ari and his wife look at me in puzzlement and I go "he's gonna make pork for me. You guys can have some if you want." At this point, Ari's got this look of jealousy mixed with greed on his face. He stops eating his food and just waits. Ten minutes later the waiter serves up the most beautiful bowl of tau yiu teh ka I've ever seen in my life. Ari says he'll only have a nibble and ends up taking like five pieces, all the while murmuring "its really good".

It was fucking good. And I consider it a major achievement to be able to get an Indonesian Chinese cook to make pork for me after only about two weeks here.

Next time I need my pork fix, I know where to go.