Sell Bike Again

This bike damn steady. Serve me two years but now I'm always overseas so cannot ride her.. I'm sure she is lonely too.. So gotta sell. I hope she find a good owner..

I Sell Fuel Cells By the Sea Shore

Buyashaka!

Thought I die already right?

I tell you ah.. I fucking busy ok... Quit my job la.. But gahmen dun wanna pay my last month salary so gotta become like loan shark and pester them. Then got people owe me $3000 la (I tend to refer to him as $3000 man) and beg me for more time la... and I gotta threaten him... (My life like revolves around people owing me money hor?) And then now I gotta start studying again la... Damn fucking blur..

But my research like quite steady one leh. Work on fuel cells for space robots ah... wah lan eh.. fucking cheem man. I see already also gong..

Right now only make toy car only. I show you picture:

Team Fuel Cell Racecar demonstrated a
spectacular lack of aerodynamics knowledge.

So anyway, this thing uses the solar panel to generate electricity to produce hydrogen and oxygen in the water tank, which is then used as fuel for the fuel cell to generate electricity which then drives the motor.

I know you must be asking yourself - why so kam lan? Just use the solar panel to power the car cannot meh? Ah.... then I ask you.. night time how?!... Rainy day how?... Cannot run right?! That's why day time we use the solar panel to create fuel.. Then night time go chiong that time then use your fuel cell... Understand or not, Ah Boy?

Aiyah but still not used to studying leh. And I also realise that student life is a bit cock. The other night was someone's birthday and then when they make him down his drink, they all started chanting his name. Fucking cock.. Like macham frat boy house like that. And worse is all the bars in the college only got beer and wine. How to tahan?!?!

Anyway, if you all got time come and see me. I three weeks never scold "cheebye" already. Two more months I think I'll be reduced to saying "fuck you".

So come here and let me practice on you, you cheebyes...

I Very Sad

Fall in love already but must part so quickly. Pain ah.. What to do. Who ask me so smart get a place to study PhD at MIT? Now must sell my beloved Aprilia RS-125 (whose name, by the way, is Mussolini).

Now must post it for sale online. But online website don't have image hosting leh. So host here lor. Anyway, I put here also to let you all see my bike. So chio... The more I see the more sad I am...

Jin Jing for President of China

Wah lan eh China is damn steady.

They all know that anywhere which got their Olympic torch confirm there will be protest about Tibet. So what to do? Chinese Soft Power lai liaaaoo!!! Just arrow all those chio but vulnerable-looking "athletes" to be the torch bearers lor. So simple. Even Chen Shui Bian also can tell you that.

By doing this, China set itself up for a win-win-win situation. Damn steady. If there are protesters, once they see that the Olympic torch is held by some vulnerable-looking chio bu, confirm they won't try to do anything funny one. China win! Then even if they try to take the torch, wah lan eh everyone see the photos already will think that those protesters who try to take the torch from those chio bus are bastards lor. China win again! And the last win? China bring the torch around the world is actually their road show for their export of foreign talent. "Athletes"? Ya... but all of them only know how to play shot put and javelin. Score one win for China products! Hahahahaha!!!

But anyway, this time round, the best win is scored by Chinese paralympic "athlete" Jin Jing. Her right leg kenah amputate last time so become "paralympic athlete". Those Chinese are one kinky bunch man! You see her photo here. Wah lan eh... Tell me you don't want to let her hold your Olympic torch?!:

Anyway, Jin Jing kenah assaulted by some pro-Tibet protester. I know they all have some dunno what human rights issue la. But they really damn boh seh lor. Try to snatch the Olympic torch from some poor helpless (and chio) Chinese "athlete"?! Wah lan eh... What kind of people are these? Fucking Conan the Babarian ah? Jia sai... Anyway, here's a few picture of the poor Jin Jing, valiantly protecting the Olympic flame from those evil protesters:



Damn cham right? The poor disabled (but chio) Chinese girl, selflessly protecting China's glory from those bastard protesters who know nothing about China. Bastards. Here is a picture of Jin Jing after the attack:

Damn steady right? I see already, I also imagine that that is actually my "Olympic torch" that she is hugging (actually, seems like it is about the right size. Only a little bit too skinny).

Jin Jing damn steady. She is so steady that I composed a cheer for her:

Chinese Athletes Number One
by Jimmy Lee Kalimantan

Chinese athlete number one!

Put my lan jiao in their cunt!

If others try to interfere,

Chinese athlete fuck their rear!

~0~

Jin Jing, Jin Jing we love you!

Make that protester look like a fool!

They think their moral ground so high,

KAN NI NA BEI CHAO CHEEBYE!!

Steady right?

.

L's House is Gross

So I stayed in L's house the last week before I left Jakarta. L and A are very nice. Like my papa and mummy like that. But I tell you ah... if my papa and mummy's house is like theirs, I fucking run away long time ago liao! This is because, L and A's house, the rice got WEEVILS!!!

Wah lan eh damn shiok you see already you also sure wanna eat. This is the rice bin:

See those black black things? Ah those are the weevils lor. This is what they look like close-up:


Damn nice right? These fuckers apparently start out as eggs which their mummy and daddy weevils hatch inside the rice grains. Then after they hatch, they just live their whole lives inside the rice bin. Really. It's like being born inside a Swensens All You Can Eat Buffet. So everyday they just eat the rice grains, then fuck, then hatch their baby weevils into the rice grains and then their baby weevils grow up and have more sex and have more baby weevils. Until there can come a day when there are more weevils than rice grains. Damn nice right? Here's a closer shot:

And here's one even more close-up shot, with the lid off so you can experience the ful weevilly goodness:

But I'm sure you must be thinking, "but Jimmy, those could just be chocolate rice what. How do I know you never bluff me?" This is where the magic of video comes in handy:



Shiok right?

But I tell you ah... This type of weevils ah.. best is feed to my Venus Flytrap:


Cute right?! I call him Veeny. It actually really eats flies. And after it finishes with the flies, it will pui out the dried flies. Like this:

But I dare not feed Veeny the weevils. Skarli kenah heartburn.

Camo Pants and Ah Kua Bags

Ok so recently me and P went to Bangkok for holiday. Well actually it was me on holiday. P was there mostly for work and to let me use his hotel room for free. I was basically like his secret mistress like that. Then when he go to work I just go shopping ah, suntanning ah, massage ah... Then at night he come back I ask him how his day went. It was a good life.

Anyway, we notice that there appear to be two different tribes of people in Thailand. There's the White Tribe, with their white skin, delicate features, nubile bodies. P astutely observed that he had yet to see a White Tribe girl with fat legs. Their stronghold is in the north, called Chiang Mai, a place of plenty and where the people live in harmony. There are endless acres of fertile green fields and their ruler is a High Queen, fair and just. They defend their land with courage and honour. Here are a few examples:






Ok you get the idea right? That's White Tribe. Basically you see already is *bsshhhhh* kenah nosebleed one.

Then there's the Black Tribe, who come from the south. As their name suggests, they have dark complexion and more... uh... simian features. Again, some examples. RAAARRRR!!!:








Yep... You don't wanna run into a Blackie in a dark alley. Their headquarters is apparently in the south where the sun is always hidden by putrid dark clouds and there are hordes of Blackies toiling in the iron mines while others are busy working in the forges banging away at red hot steel, crafting wicked-looking weapons for the army that they are secretly amassing for the final assault on their hated foes, the Whities, cowardly hiding in their ivory towers in Chiang Mai. In the unspeakable Black Tribe stronghold in the south, you can find all manner of ungodly creatures. There, they have what seem like huge war elephants, three times as large as normal elephants but with sharp carnivorous teeth. And the Black Tribe sorcerers are always trying to cook up some potion for their evil king to take so as to let him live longer ang longer. Apparently ang mohs like to hook up with Black Tribe girls because they find them more 'exotic' (read: good BJ lips).

Our guess was that Bangkok is like the middle ground where an uneasy truce exists between the Black Tribe and the White Tribe since the Blackies were beaten back to the south in the last Great War. But even in Bangkok, you can find exquisite shopping centres with all the posh brands where most of the shoppers are White Tribe women (this was where we spent a lot of time). And then there are other more dodgy 'hoods where most of the people are Blackies and they will try to sell you drugs and push their women on you. All very interesting. The tragedy of racial division in Thailand.

Anyway, we went to Chat-Tu-Chat market where there's all sorts of stuff. Somehow Chat-Tu-Chat makes people get this disease. I call it the Must-Get-________-Disease. If you get the Must-Get-________-Disease, you are siao liao. You will have this irresistable urge to buy a certain item and will roam Chat-Tu-Chat endlessly until you find whatever it is that you are looking to buy.

P kenah the Must-Get-Camo-Pants-Disease. Camo pants are basically pants/berms which have camo pattern. This is what they look like:


Which actually seems quite easy to find right? But nooo.... the first camo pants that caught P's eye had MARPAT camo. As I explained to P, MARPAT is the new US and Canadian military camouflage. Apparently there's like a lot of research put into this. And, apparently, US and Canadian scientists have found that by making the camo patterns look like Tetris Block Build Game, its harder for the enemy to see you. Here's what a MARPAT camo pattern looks like:


And here's the exact same pair of MARPAT camo berms that P was looking for:


I tell you ah... P was like a rabid dog man. Running all over Chat-Tu-Chat looking for his MARPAT shorts. But ALL the stores in Chat-Tu-Chat either don't have this pattern or don't have his size or were trying to sell the pants at like super-exhorbitant prices! In the end we had to eave Chat-Tu-Chat without the MARPAT shorts. I only realise how desperate for the camo shorts P was when about 4 nights later I went to sleep and woke up in the middle of the night and saw a pair of camo shorts on the table. After I had gone to sleep, P had been gone out to one of the roadside stores to look for a pair of camo shorts in the middle of the night! So he finally had his camo shorts. Although they were not MARPAT camo shorts.

For me, I kenah the Must-Get-Ah-Kua-Bag-Disease. But mine was a milder case. For your info, an Ah Kua Bag is those really really big bags that only fashionable guys carry. They look like Auntie Bags but there is apparently a very subtle difference (which I am not too sure about myself). Anyway, if you carry one, although other guys will think that you are a faggot, you confirm will get a lot of hot chicks one. Check it:


I tried my best to look for one. But most of them looked more like Auntie Bags leh so I didn't get one.

Anyway, fabulous Bangkok. Damn steady. Next time must go back there again.

Must.... get.... Ah... Kua.... Bag......

I Sell My Car and Get a Shitload of Cash

So I sold my silver Mercedes Benz C180 Kompressor recently. I'm really cut up inside to have lost such a gorgeous car. Some good memories in there (had the leather seats cleaned twice at the buyer's request... seriously.. some people..).

So to cheer myself up, I had the car dealer pay me in cash. Here's what Rp137,000,000 looks like in denominations of Rp100,000 and Rp50,000.

With the help of a wad of notes from the latest drug bust, Inspector Teo

demonstrated to the media the painful process by which the syndicates'

drug runners concealed the merchandise on their body.

I thought he'd have to bring it in a suitcase like in the movies but this would probably hardly fill a large lunch box. I actually really wanted him to bring it in Rp1,000s but figured it might have been too much trouble to count all of it.

Itchy Backsides

So I just had dinner with L and A. Beside our table got one Indonesian family eating dinner. Wah on the table got one woman got a really itchy backside. The whole dinner she scratch and scratch and scratch. Some more she scratch is not like a bit a bit one. Hers is FULL ON scratching action. Like reach real deep so that you can reach your asshole that kinda scratching. Steady. I admire women like that. Got balls. Check it:

Sometimes Emily's wedgie fetish was too hard to resist

and she would relieve it at the most awkward moments.

Here's another picture. This time she was really getting into it:

Michelle cheated at poker by cunningly using the wormhole in
her anus to access extra cards that she hid in her hotel room. It
also had the added benefit of generating quantum deterministic
causality effects that distorted the surrounding space-time
continuum which blurred out the security cameras and
prevented them from catching her in the act.

Damn shiok. I see her scratch I also feel like scratching. But I paiseh.